Surprise, I’m back for another blog! This may be short because I’m not sure if I want to go into many details yet. Within probably the last year, God has been tossing little hints at me here and there. You know how when you really want something, say an Instant Pot as a Christmas gift, you’ll subtly drop hints? You bring up that time you borrowed one from a friend and it’d be convenient to just have your own. You point out when it’s on sale somewhere. Maybe you even throw it onto your Amazon wish list if they’re really not getting it! God’s been doing that to me! I mean He’s not hinting that He wants me to get him an Instant Pot for Christmas, but He has been dropping hints at me for a while. When you hear people say, “God works in mysterious ways,” it’s true. He’s been so mysterious, I wasn’t sure if these hints were from God or just coincidences that I was putting together on my own. Since I wasn’t entirely sure, I just ignored them. It was easier. If I surrendered to the fact that these hints were from God, it meant stepping out of my comfort zone. Life as I know it would change. So I convinced myself that I was silly and none of these small things were related. They didn’t mean anything. That is until a few weeks ago.
See, a couple of weeks ago one of the lead pastors at my church (shoutout to Dylan!) made an announcement about a calling God had placed on his life. This calling would mean stepping into the unknown, but he’s doing it even though its scary. It was that day that I heard God say, “Hey! Have you not gotten my hints?! Go check out my wish list on Amazon!” In that moment, I realized that I wasn’t making something out of nothing. All the small pieces from the past year were meant to fit together to make a bigger picture, but I was too stubborn to see it because it could be uncomfortable and scary. I cried at the altar that day, not because of Dylan’s announcement, but because of what God had been trying to tell me.
Over these past few weeks, I’ve accepted the fact that God’s placed a calling on my life that means stepping into the unknown. I don’t know exactly what it looks like yet, but that’s okay. He’ll reveal it to me in time. I just have to wait and trust in Him. In the mean time, He’s reassured me in some of the most interesting ways. First, I have an incredible support group of women (shoutout to my life group ladies!) who have prayed over me and encouraged me more than I could ever ask for! (They’re actually the only ones who actually know what God has been telling me.) Second, He dropped another hint! He has also reassured me by speaking through song. Back when He was calling me to do a second year of Captive Free, I remember Him just wrecking me with the song Oceans which was new at the time. I bawled when Captive Free Central Plains ’13-’14 (shoutout to Emily, Sarah, MJ, Zach, Jack, and Chris!) played it during their debriefing program. (If you’re not familiar with the song, go listen to it and it’ll make sense.) A few weeks ago when I heard God speak to me we sang Oceans after the sermon, and last week we once again sang Oceans, and once again I cried.
I’m being vague about what He’s telling me, I know. Maybe it’s because it still scares me and saying it to the world makes it real. Maybe it’s because I just don’t know what it looks like exactly and I don’t want to share until I can give more definite answers. One thing’s for sure though, it means change. It means being uncomfortable, and it means stepping into the unknown. And with that, I’ll leave you with the lyrics of yet another relevant song which will always and forever be on my heart, but especially in this season.
Come away with me, come away with me.
It’s never too late, it’s not too late, it’s not too late for you.
I have a plan for you, I have a plan for you.
It’s gonna be wild, it’s gonna be great, it’s gonna be full of me.
So open up your heart and let me in.